June 6, 2011

Parenting: Science or Art?

McKenzie will be turning four in less than two weeks and she still loves her afternoon nap.  She will sleep most days for two plus hours in the afternoon.  She has always loved to nap when she was almost two we finally had to wean her off her morning nap with what we termed a controlled nap.  She was allowed to fall asleep in the morning but only for half an hour that way she would take a good afternoon nap.  With all this desire to sleep you'd think the evenings would be easy but she fights bedtime with everything she has.  This is where my question comes in: is parenting science or an art form?  Let's explore...

Science    According to Wikipedia these are the elements of scientific method:
  1. Characterizations: My child won't go to sleep at night and won't stay in her bed. This happens almost every night.  She needs just one more thing... no two more things... .
  2. Hypothesis: Maybe she is getting too much sleep during the day.  Perhaps she is overly tired.  Could she be trying to drive me crazy?  Is she being paid off by Grandma to pay me back from similar behavior when I was a child? 
  3. Predictions: If I try a shorter afternoon nap she may be tired at bedtime.  An earlier bedtime might keep her from being overly tired and will let her drift off to sleep quickly.  If this keeps up I will possibly go crazy if I'm not already there.  If I find that Grandma has wished this on me she'll be sharing a room with McKenzie next time she comes for a visit.
  4. Experiments: Test all of the above and then test every suggestion you learn from other parents and the internet. 
The experiment part is where the true job associated with parenting comes in. It is when every day you are preforming a new experiment to try to find that one little element you can alter to change the game and keep your child doing what you want them to do.  Matt and I are always strategizing new plans to get McKenzie to stay in her room at night.  Here are a few of our recent attempts: taking away a baby doll every time she gets up, giving her a silly band in the morning if she doesn't get out of bed, and my new favorite reading to her from 'Little House On The Prairie' which to a child is not all that exciting since she is used to picture books.  I must say while reading the long chapters of the book does settle McKenzie down a bit.  What I really leave with each night is a strong desire to know why Pa and Ma did not publish a companion book that talked about parenting.  They just say "bedtime for little girls" and Laura runs off to bed.  In my dreams.  Now let's give art a chance.

Art    According to Wikipedia art is defined as "the use of skill and imagination in the creation of aesthetic objects, environments, or experiences that can be shared with others."  We certainly do use our imaginations when trying to come up with new things to try and the aesthetics of our environment do increase when my child are safely snuggled in their beds for the night.

In the end I believe that parenting requires a finely tuned sense that allows you to join arts use of skill and imagination with the scientific knowledge gained from forming your hypotheses, predictions and executing your many experiments.  And still some nights you get to put your child back in bed over and over until she has no more dolls to sleep with and some nights you end up with this.

2 comments:

Gina Lillie said...

So true! It's mostly a mystery to me what works and what doesn't. I will say as much as I miss nap time, it's made bed time a breeze at the Landerholms.

S and J said...

Great insight...and another reminder of why I like putting my dogs to bed.